¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-06 459

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

factor of outside impacts children's growing. But the most important thing i think is the attention of parents.
parent's expression gives mant impact they children. they must not release there feeling to children.
if they are swayed by emotions, children can't choose right action and he or she can't grow social relationship.
children's relationship affect their life. people who don't give education may become criminal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Lee! How are you? Well, today is a special day because it's my birthday. Hahaha! I don't have any plans yet. Talk to you tomorrow. Take care!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
factor of outside impacts children's growing. 
>>> Children's development is impacted by external factors.
But the most important thing i think is the attention of parents.
>>> However, the most important thing is the parents' attention. 
parent's expression gives mant impact they children.
>>> The way parents act has a big impact on their children. 
 they must not release there feeling to children.
>>> They should not be so emotional in front of their children.
if they are swayed by emotions, children can't choose right action and he or she can't grow social relationship.
>>> Children cannot make moral decisions or develop healthy social relationships if they are influenced by their parents' emotions.
children's relationship affect their life. 
>>> Children's social relationship can affect their lives. 
people who don't give education may become criminal.
>>> Parents who don't educate their children well may turn to criminals someday.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132029 The last thing that made you feel so much better ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 862
132028 Time ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 651
132027 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 3
132026 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1045
132025 What is your philosophy in life? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 764
132024 Do children and teenagers also have the right to freedom of... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132023 Should schools switch to e-books? Why? share the advantages and... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 2
132022 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1174
132021 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 3
132020 HOMEWORK-231030 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132019 What is my biggest complaints about my friends. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 853
132018 why to many fitness ±è*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1208
132017 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 980
132016 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 0
132015 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 0
132014 In a scale of 1-10, how do you rate the drug problem in your... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132013 WRITING TASK: Do you think talking about our situations with... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 2
132012 How traveling helped me to overcome trauma ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 854
132011 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132010 What would you like to acquire in life? Why? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 824

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04