¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The wonderful holidays with my friends.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-09-06 823

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a good memory about holidays with my friends. I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were high school mates. The train ticket which used free during a week was special prices for students. So we went around Korea during the week by train. We slept Korean style spa which called gim-gil-bang. We had to save money because we were students so we didn't have much money. That time was so funny and memorable to me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

The best memories are sometimes those that we spend with our friends. Mostly, they are our high school pals. Those times, we did not really have enough money but we never run short of fun.

These memories will last a lifetime. Today, we can still create good ones. It may not be easy but we need to try.

You are a very good story-teller. Your sentences are clear and meaningful. Please study the grammar points I made.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I have a good memory about holidays with my friends. 
>> Correct!

I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were high school mates. 
>>   I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were my high school mates. 

The train ticket which used free during a week was special prices for students. 
>> The train ticket which we used for free during a week were special prices for students. 

So we went around Korea during the week by train. 
>> Correct!

We slept Korean style spa which called gim-gil-bang. 
>> We slept in a  Korean style spa which is called gim-gil-bang. 

We had to save money because we were students so we didn't have much money. 
>> Correct!

That time was so funny and memorable to me.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130340 What are you like when you are angry? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2
130339 What are the advantages of living in an apartment? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1347
130338 How do you feel about fusion food? Do you prefer traditional... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1508
130337 What mechanisms are necessary for people to go through in order... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 895
130336 To develop my life ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1544
130335 What are the benefits of waking up early? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1225
130334 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2726
130333 How does showing care towards others contribute to building... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1576
130332 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1034
130331 Do you think the technology that we have right now is effective... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1918
130330 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1278
130329 Have you ever committed a small/ petty crime when you were young? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1273
130328 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1234
130327 8/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 15
130326 Weekend activities ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1096
130325 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1022
130324 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3
130323 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 2234
130322 What kind of person do you want to avoid? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 1
130321 What are the pros and cons of living in an apartment? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 1967

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04