¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The wonderful holidays with my friends.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-09-06 847

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a good memory about holidays with my friends. I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were high school mates. The train ticket which used free during a week was special prices for students. So we went around Korea during the week by train. We slept Korean style spa which called gim-gil-bang. We had to save money because we were students so we didn't have much money. That time was so funny and memorable to me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

The best memories are sometimes those that we spend with our friends. Mostly, they are our high school pals. Those times, we did not really have enough money but we never run short of fun.

These memories will last a lifetime. Today, we can still create good ones. It may not be easy but we need to try.

You are a very good story-teller. Your sentences are clear and meaningful. Please study the grammar points I made.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I have a good memory about holidays with my friends. 
>> Correct!

I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were high school mates. 
>>   I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were my high school mates. 

The train ticket which used free during a week was special prices for students. 
>> The train ticket which we used for free during a week were special prices for students. 

So we went around Korea during the week by train. 
>> Correct!

We slept Korean style spa which called gim-gil-bang. 
>> We slept in a  Korean style spa which is called gim-gil-bang. 

We had to save money because we were students so we didn't have much money. 
>> Correct!

That time was so funny and memorable to me.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131584 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 812
131583 ¡°You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0
131582 What makes you smile today? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 918
131581 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 4
131580 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 5
131579 Is going to academy/academies important? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131578 HOMEWORK-231011 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131577 What exotic food would you like to try? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 776
131576 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0
131575 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0
131574 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 816
131573 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1190
131572 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 918
131571 homework_231011 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1083
131570 What happened during your conference? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 2
131569 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1193
131568 As an employee, what is your greatest memory? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 989
131567 ¡°Is there really a big difference in going to a private school... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1138
131566 What is the importance of education? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1173
131565 What is success for you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 835

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04