¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The wonderful holidays with my friends.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-09-06 941

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a good memory about holidays with my friends. I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were high school mates. The train ticket which used free during a week was special prices for students. So we went around Korea during the week by train. We slept Korean style spa which called gim-gil-bang. We had to save money because we were students so we didn't have much money. That time was so funny and memorable to me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Thomas!

The best memories are sometimes those that we spend with our friends. Mostly, they are our high school pals. Those times, we did not really have enough money but we never run short of fun.

These memories will last a lifetime. Today, we can still create good ones. It may not be easy but we need to try.

You are a very good story-teller. Your sentences are clear and meaningful. Please study the grammar points I made.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I have a good memory about holidays with my friends. 
>> Correct!

I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were high school mates. 
>>   I went on a trip by train with my best friends who were my high school mates. 

The train ticket which used free during a week was special prices for students. 
>> The train ticket which we used for free during a week were special prices for students. 

So we went around Korea during the week by train. 
>> Correct!

We slept Korean style spa which called gim-gil-bang. 
>> We slept in a  Korean style spa which is called gim-gil-bang. 

We had to save money because we were students so we didn't have much money. 
>> Correct!

That time was so funny and memorable to me.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132457 Feeling pressure about my future ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 992
132456 Do you like playing sports? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1199
132455 In English, there are sick jokes, private jokes, cruel jokes,... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 3
132454 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you still... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 0
132453 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 0
132452 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 0
132451 I like almost all kinds of dishes. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1472
132450 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2
132449 I would not spend more time with my computer. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1266
132448 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 818
132447 homework_231114 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 0
132446 How do you spend your time? ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 8
132445 WRITING TASK: How can joining an organization help an individual? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2
132444 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1
132443 DIARY ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1
132442 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2
132441 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1
132440 Positive mindset ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1312
132439 Long lasting relationship with my husband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1805
132438 An American report says home-schooled children do much better... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04