¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Introduction our things

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-04 1222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sightseeing is an integral part of traveling. I can¡¯t wait to see sights when traveling. If i have a chance to introduce our country to foreign friends, i can¡¯t wait to bring them to Namsan tower which had amazing night view. From the view you can feel how many people live in Seoul and a lot of people light themselves just like beautiful light. I mean if someone work overtime, there couldn¡¯t be light at night.

If they want to see just traditional things, i would introduce our traditional palace such as gyeongbok palace. This place is the most popular among foreigners but it is easy for them to miss important thing. This place is connected to Blue house where previous presidents lived and worked. So i will take them to this place

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You are good at recommending good places, Jun! Your essay got better because of the options you presented. Keep it up!-Faith-
Sightseeing is an integral part of traveling. 
>> Sightseeing is an integral part of traveling. 
I can¡¯t wait to see sights when traveling. 
>> CORRECT
OR I can¡¯t wait to see marvelous sights when traveling. 
If i have a chance to introduce our country to foreign friends, i can¡¯t wait to bring them to Namsan tower which had amazing night view. 
>> If I had a chance to introduce our country to foreign friends, I could not wait to bring them to Namsan Tower which had an amazing night view. 
From the view you can feel how many people live in Seoul and a lot of people light themselves just like beautiful light. 
>> By the view, you can feel the number of people living in Seoul and a lot of people light themselves just like beautiful lights. 
I mean if someone work overtime, there couldn¡¯t be light at night.
>> I mean if someone worked overtime, there would be light at night.
If they want to see just traditional things, i would introduce our traditional palace such as gyeongbok palace. 
>> If they wanted to see just traditional things, I would introduce our traditional palace such as Gyeongbok Palace. 
This place is the most popular among foreigners but it is easy for them to miss important thing. 
>> This place is the most popular among foreigners, but it is easy for them to miss an important thing. 
This place is connected to Blue house where previous presidents lived and worked. 
>> This place is connected to the Blue House where previous presidents lived and worked. 
So i will take them to this place
>> Therefore, I will take them to this place.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130213 The best exercise for the losing weight ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2104
130212 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1685
130211 Why do you like reading books? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 3
130210 Greeting is important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2310
130209 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1771
130208 Would you send a dish back if it did not taste good or if you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1
130207 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1248
130206 What should people with insomnia do? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1612
130205 What is the advantage of using the English language? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2176
130204 What are some ways to help you fall asleep? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1670
130203 How did you hear about this position? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1498
130202 Is overpopulation a problem in your town or country? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1773
130201 How can social norms and cultural influences impact behavior? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1374
130200 Do you have a favorite song that you love to perform? What is... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130199 WRITING TASK: How can helping others benefit someone? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2
130198 What is the main things of behavior ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130197 Being a role model ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130196 How does behavior change across different life stages, from... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1398
130195 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1483
130194 What\'s your thought on cliques in schools? Would you want to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04