¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Introduction our things

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-04 1467

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sightseeing is an integral part of traveling. I can¡¯t wait to see sights when traveling. If i have a chance to introduce our country to foreign friends, i can¡¯t wait to bring them to Namsan tower which had amazing night view. From the view you can feel how many people live in Seoul and a lot of people light themselves just like beautiful light. I mean if someone work overtime, there couldn¡¯t be light at night.

If they want to see just traditional things, i would introduce our traditional palace such as gyeongbok palace. This place is the most popular among foreigners but it is easy for them to miss important thing. This place is connected to Blue house where previous presidents lived and worked. So i will take them to this place

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You are good at recommending good places, Jun! Your essay got better because of the options you presented. Keep it up!-Faith-
Sightseeing is an integral part of traveling. 
>> Sightseeing is an integral part of traveling. 
I can¡¯t wait to see sights when traveling. 
>> CORRECT
OR I can¡¯t wait to see marvelous sights when traveling. 
If i have a chance to introduce our country to foreign friends, i can¡¯t wait to bring them to Namsan tower which had amazing night view. 
>> If I had a chance to introduce our country to foreign friends, I could not wait to bring them to Namsan Tower which had an amazing night view. 
From the view you can feel how many people live in Seoul and a lot of people light themselves just like beautiful light. 
>> By the view, you can feel the number of people living in Seoul and a lot of people light themselves just like beautiful lights. 
I mean if someone work overtime, there couldn¡¯t be light at night.
>> I mean if someone worked overtime, there would be light at night.
If they want to see just traditional things, i would introduce our traditional palace such as gyeongbok palace. 
>> If they wanted to see just traditional things, I would introduce our traditional palace such as Gyeongbok Palace. 
This place is the most popular among foreigners but it is easy for them to miss important thing. 
>> This place is the most popular among foreigners, but it is easy for them to miss an important thing. 
This place is connected to Blue house where previous presidents lived and worked. 
>> This place is connected to the Blue House where previous presidents lived and worked. 
So i will take them to this place
>> Therefore, I will take them to this place.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134050 Too awful if war is happening ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 0
134049 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1
134048 My favorite month ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1365
134047 How can sleep be beneficial for a person\'s well-being? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1231
134046 Cheering me up ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1134
134045 What part of Korean tradition are you most proud of? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1402
134044 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1120
134043 Why mothers are strong ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 0
134042 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1248
134041 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 0
134040 Do you like making new friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1219
134039 Can you easily influence someone? Why or why not? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 7
134038 The best thing. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1441
134037 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 0
134036 My meal mate ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1051
134035 Is body language kind of confusing for you? Why or Why not? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 9
134034 What rude behaviour do you see in public every day? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1123
134033 What have you lost while traveling? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 831
134032 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1262
134031 What¡¯s new with you? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04