¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-04 858

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?

First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
I want high punishment of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?


First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
>> First of all, domestic violence should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
>> Domestic violence happen in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
>> Sometimes I watch about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
>> CORRECT!
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
>> But, they all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
>> Because most first-time punishment offenders receive probation.
OR >> That's because most first-time punishment offenders are under probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
>> CORRECT!
I want high punishment of these crimes.
>> I want high punishment for these crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129994 What are some situations that make you feel stressful? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 1916
129993 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 2364
129992 Homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 1505
129991 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 1718
129990 What problems are caused by radioactive pollution? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 2
129989 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 3751
129988 How could public transport in your city be improved? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 7
129987 What\'s your opinion about a four-day work week? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1463
129986 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1472
129985 How do you balance the desire to see and experience as much as... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 2647
129984 What\'s your ideal weekend? What\'s the perfect weekend for you? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 13
129983 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 0
129982 In your opinion, what is insomnia? Please give its pros (if it... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1839
129981 Getting enough sleep helps heal your body from any pain or... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1767
129980 What are the advantages and disdvantages of wacthing the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 3213
129979 What do you like best about camping? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 3
129978 Answer the following questions in full sentences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2217
129977 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2243
129976 What do you do when you feel anxious about something? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2
129975 homework 08.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1733

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04