¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-04 356

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?

First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
I want high punishment of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?


First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
>> First of all, domestic violence should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
>> Domestic violence happen in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
>> Sometimes I watch about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
>> CORRECT!
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
>> But, they all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
>> Because most first-time punishment offenders receive probation.
OR >> That's because most first-time punishment offenders are under probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
>> CORRECT!
I want high punishment of these crimes.
>> I want high punishment for these crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131342 If you were to remove one traditional holiday (could be Korean... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1
131341 What is something that you are thankful for?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 602
131340 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 787
131339 Would you rather play video games or read books all day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 877
131338 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 843
131337 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 0
131336 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 739
131335 The most difficult part of studying English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 781
131334 WRITING TASK: What kind of help do you need from your new... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 4
131333 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 770
131332 If you had a company, will you hire a professional or an amateur... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1
131331 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 5
131330 why do we need to study English? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 580
131329 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 2
131328 Do you think there is still a stigma associated with people who... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-27 1
131327 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 0
131326 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 523
131325 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131324 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131323 homework 09.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 506

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04