¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-04 986

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?

First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
I want high punishment of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?


First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
>> First of all, domestic violence should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
>> Domestic violence happen in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
>> Sometimes I watch about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
>> CORRECT!
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
>> But, they all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
>> Because most first-time punishment offenders receive probation.
OR >> That's because most first-time punishment offenders are under probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
>> CORRECT!
I want high punishment of these crimes.
>> I want high punishment for these crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133220 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1255
133219 Do you think athletes have the best life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1070
133218 Do you see yourself as a leader? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1243
133217 Can you describe the best leader for you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1786
133216 Can you give an example of some opportunities you have missed?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1119
133215 Do you think people can still work without technology? Why or... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1710
133214 HOMEWORK FOR 12.13.2023 WRITING TASK: What are phone... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133213 The ideal society ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1416
133212 >>> Can you recall (without looking) who and what are on your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 5
133211 How to handle skipper? How it is different from sleepers? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1001
133210 Please try to remember what you did after your elementary... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133209 Having pets ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1249
133208 What is your dream vacation location? ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133207 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1965
133206 13.Dec.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133205 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 7
133204 What situation excites and motivates you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1233
133203 If you were given a chance what would you choose, to change... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133202 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1240
133201 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04