¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-04 1116

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?

First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
I want high punishment of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?


First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
>> First of all, domestic violence should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
>> Domestic violence happen in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
>> Sometimes I watch about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
>> CORRECT!
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
>> But, they all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
>> Because most first-time punishment offenders receive probation.
OR >> That's because most first-time punishment offenders are under probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
>> CORRECT!
I want high punishment of these crimes.
>> I want high punishment for these crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134698 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1742
134697 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1011
134696 What are your good and bad habits? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1
134695 What are some of the important lessons you have learned from... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 0
134694 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1294
134693 What is the most important meaning of Seollal for you? Why is... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 0
134692 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1208
134691 What\'s the best memory you have from celebrating your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 0
134690 What are some strategies to encourage reluctant readers to... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1352
134689 Why do you like your best friends? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1140
134688 What do you think about long distance relationships? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 804
134687 homework 2024-01-27 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1
134686 Aside from Korean and English, what do you think is the most... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1
134685 What one important thing would you buy with your savings today?... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 0
134684 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1
134683 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 2
134682 Having a collateral ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1335
134681 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1371
134680 What do you think of Michelin restaurants? Are they worth the... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 1
134679 English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 1404

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04