¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-04 1434

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?

First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
I want high punishment of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think domestic violence exists in all social classes?


First of all, domestic violence is should never happen.
>> First of all, domestic violence should never happen.
Domestic violence are happend in all social classes.
>> Domestic violence happen in all social classes.
Sometimes I watched about these news and media.
>> Sometimes I watch about these news and media.
Among the victims are home runaway teenagers, wives and even husbands.
>> CORRECT!
But, their all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
>> But, they all said in an interview this crime's punishment is very low.
Because most first-time punishment offenders are received probation.
>> Because most first-time punishment offenders receive probation.
OR >> That's because most first-time punishment offenders are under probation.
So, victims live in fear of retaliations.
>> CORRECT!
I want high punishment of these crimes.
>> I want high punishment for these crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140297 What¡¯s the most interesting or unique club or organization... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1355
140296 submitted homework : the country where I don\'t like to visit ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1
140295 7.Oct.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0
140294 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1252
140293 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0
140292 If I have won ten million dollars~? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 5
140291 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 2
140290 What does it mean to be a lively person? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1262
140289 Do you prefer physical games or games that are purely mental? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1235
140288 If you were a fruit, what would you be and why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1352
140287 In your opinion, what does \"every end is a new beginning\" mean? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1579
140286 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1069
140285 07oct2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1412
140284 How did you stay in touch with friends and family before using... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1429
140283 Why do people like to watch shows or read books about fantasy... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1336
140282 What activities do you like doing in the summer? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 4
140281 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 3
140280 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1197
140279 2,october ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1207
140278 4, october ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1411

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04