¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-04 1523

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
And addiction of devices is very Serious. I think devices are alike drugs.
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
electric things are not different.
We must caution addiction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~! Have you had your lunch yet? I ate tofu this lunch! How about you? Thanks for doing your essay today! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
>>> Honestly,  electronic devices have more bad effects than good things.
OR>>> 
Electronic technologies, in all honesty, tend to cause more harm than benefit.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
>>> We can know a lot of information however, we don't know whether they are correct or not.
OR>>> We may know a great deal of information, yet we cannot be certain that it is accurate.
And addiction of devices is very Serious.
>>> Device addiction is very serious.
 I think devices are alike drugs.
>>> I think too much use of devices is like taking drugs. 
OR>>> I believe that using technology excessively is similar to using drugs. 
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
>>> Drugs like cannabis can also be made into painkillers.
electric things are not different.
>>> The same applies to electric items.
We must caution addiction.
>>> Addiction must be avoided. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127221 What is one relationship lesson you have learned from the past?... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 4
127220 What are the disadvantages of having your own house? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 0
127219 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 0
127218 1. important 2. establish 3. boring 4. responsible 5. attitude Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 840
127217 What is the best thing to do to stay healthy? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 596
127216 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1258
127215 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127214 Nowadays, my goal of life is that everyone get happy life more... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127213 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1138
127212 4.5 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 638
127211 4.5 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 581
127210 What do you think about people gritting their teeth? Is it a... Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127209 Homework 4 ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 974
127208 Why do you think some people feel nervous when they go to the... Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127207 If I drink too much coffe.. Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127206 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127205 What is your favorite restaurant and why? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127204 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127203 How do you make time with your family when you have a pretty... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 719
127202 4/5 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 891

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04