¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-04 1431

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
And addiction of devices is very Serious. I think devices are alike drugs.
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
electric things are not different.
We must caution addiction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~! Have you had your lunch yet? I ate tofu this lunch! How about you? Thanks for doing your essay today! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
>>> Honestly,  electronic devices have more bad effects than good things.
OR>>> 
Electronic technologies, in all honesty, tend to cause more harm than benefit.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
>>> We can know a lot of information however, we don't know whether they are correct or not.
OR>>> We may know a great deal of information, yet we cannot be certain that it is accurate.
And addiction of devices is very Serious.
>>> Device addiction is very serious.
 I think devices are alike drugs.
>>> I think too much use of devices is like taking drugs. 
OR>>> I believe that using technology excessively is similar to using drugs. 
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
>>> Drugs like cannabis can also be made into painkillers.
electric things are not different.
>>> The same applies to electric items.
We must caution addiction.
>>> Addiction must be avoided. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127934 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1
127933 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1222
127932 HOMEWORK: Do you believe in magic? ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 8
127931 BASIS ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 712
127930 What do you think is the common cause of obesity? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1165
127929 28.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1
127928 What do you want to receive on Children\'s Day? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1
127927 How\'s your day so far? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1
127926 Is loyalty an important quality in a friendship? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 3
127925 Answers ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 703
127924 Uninvited ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 1
127923 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 609
127922 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 718
127921 Do parents treat all their kids the same way, or do they treat... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 804
127920 Should the minimum wage be raised? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 840
127919 Should schools have better security? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 705
127918 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 4
127917 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 930
127916 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 2
127915 What\'s your thought on Mattel\'s creation of a new Barbie doll? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04