¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-04 674

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
And addiction of devices is very Serious. I think devices are alike drugs.
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
electric things are not different.
We must caution addiction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~! Have you had your lunch yet? I ate tofu this lunch! How about you? Thanks for doing your essay today! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
>>> Honestly,  electronic devices have more bad effects than good things.
OR>>> 
Electronic technologies, in all honesty, tend to cause more harm than benefit.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
>>> We can know a lot of information however, we don't know whether they are correct or not.
OR>>> We may know a great deal of information, yet we cannot be certain that it is accurate.
And addiction of devices is very Serious.
>>> Device addiction is very serious.
 I think devices are alike drugs.
>>> I think too much use of devices is like taking drugs. 
OR>>> I believe that using technology excessively is similar to using drugs. 
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
>>> Drugs like cannabis can also be made into painkillers.
electric things are not different.
>>> The same applies to electric items.
We must caution addiction.
>>> Addiction must be avoided. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130064 Why do people experience headaches? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1
130063 08-08 homework. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 2088
130062 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1804
130061 What\'s your thought on people who try to change their... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 2
130060 homework 08.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1004
130059 Have you ever felt hesitant to invite someone to join you for an... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1
130058 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1167
130057 Did you enjoy eating out in other countries you have visited?... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 0
130056 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 0
130055 Do you like riding on a plane? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 749
130054 The soccer is number one sports in Korea. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1
130053 What is your favorite snack? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 635
130052 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 815
130051 What do you think will be the next big breakthrough in... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1449
130050 What happens when both parents work? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 995
130049 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1419
130048 If you had to live in another country (for always) È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 998
130047 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1573
130046 As a teenager. È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1158
130045 What is your dream in life? (3-5 sentences) ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04