¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-04 1570

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
And addiction of devices is very Serious. I think devices are alike drugs.
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
electric things are not different.
We must caution addiction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~! Have you had your lunch yet? I ate tofu this lunch! How about you? Thanks for doing your essay today! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
>>> Honestly,  electronic devices have more bad effects than good things.
OR>>> 
Electronic technologies, in all honesty, tend to cause more harm than benefit.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
>>> We can know a lot of information however, we don't know whether they are correct or not.
OR>>> We may know a great deal of information, yet we cannot be certain that it is accurate.
And addiction of devices is very Serious.
>>> Device addiction is very serious.
 I think devices are alike drugs.
>>> I think too much use of devices is like taking drugs. 
OR>>> I believe that using technology excessively is similar to using drugs. 
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
>>> Drugs like cannabis can also be made into painkillers.
electric things are not different.
>>> The same applies to electric items.
We must caution addiction.
>>> Addiction must be avoided. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134486 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1210
134485 I want to be pretty À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1273
134484 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 3
134483 Make up ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1160
134482 2023.02.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134481 avoid eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134480 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1198
134479 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1564
134478 What is there to be happy about in the world today? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134477 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1
134476 Would you rather be a unicorn or a dinosaur?Why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1679
134475 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134474 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain an interesting conversation? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 4
134473 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134472 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2030
134471 Good traditions °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1480
134470 What should you bring for a trip? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1444
134469 Would you rather die in 20 years with no regrets or live to 100... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1414
134468 How would you introduce your country to foreigners? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1604
134467 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2216

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04