¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Promoting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-03 1557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to promote myself. You know what? Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.

I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. These things always enforce my value. The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You wrote a touching and reasonable essay, Jun! May you always see your value as a person. You were created with purpose and uniqueness. For my capitalization tip for you, the pronoun 'I' should always be capitalized.-Faith-
I want to promote myself. 
>> CORRECT
You know what? 
>> Do you know why?
Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. 
>> Most people do not know how precious we are.
Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. 
>> Even though we are good at work, they do not value our presence. 
I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. 
>> I had also ignored my self until I have started meditation. 
Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.
>> However, after doing that, I can tell I have to be proud of myself because I am the most valuable thing to myself.
I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
>> I¡¯m tall, I maintain a good shape, and I always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
These things always enforce my value. 
>> CORRECT
OR These things enlighten me about my worth. 
The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.
>> The final step is to be a respectful person so that most people around me like to resemble me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132866 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132865 Do you think weather affects the way people feel? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2303
132864 1st home work ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132863 How important is pronunciation compared with spelling,... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132862 The lesson in conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1392
132861 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2056
132860 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2926
132859 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1175
132858 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2705
132857 Family gathering ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132856 Homework 3 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2773
132855 What\'s the difference between motel and hotel? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1963
132854 Should military service be compulsory? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132853 What strategies do you find most effective in addressing... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1783
132852 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2
132851 What pricey that I want ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2135
132850 homework 11.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1523
132849 How do you choose/pick a restaurant to go to? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1620
132848 What advice would you give to a student who says he/she is not... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1
132847 Direct questions or indirect ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1679

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04