¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Promoting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-03 1651

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to promote myself. You know what? Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.

I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. These things always enforce my value. The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You wrote a touching and reasonable essay, Jun! May you always see your value as a person. You were created with purpose and uniqueness. For my capitalization tip for you, the pronoun 'I' should always be capitalized.-Faith-
I want to promote myself. 
>> CORRECT
You know what? 
>> Do you know why?
Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. 
>> Most people do not know how precious we are.
Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. 
>> Even though we are good at work, they do not value our presence. 
I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. 
>> I had also ignored my self until I have started meditation. 
Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.
>> However, after doing that, I can tell I have to be proud of myself because I am the most valuable thing to myself.
I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
>> I¡¯m tall, I maintain a good shape, and I always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
These things always enforce my value. 
>> CORRECT
OR These things enlighten me about my worth. 
The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.
>> The final step is to be a respectful person so that most people around me like to resemble me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133705 essay 2 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1105
133704 What is the implication of having an aging population? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1768
133703 Are you more of a leader or a follower? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1
133702 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 1460
133701 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 392
133700 Business trip ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133699 borrowing and landing ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133698 Tourism slogan ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133697 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 0
133696 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 0
133695 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 0
133694 Which city do you want to live in? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 945
133693 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 1590
133692 What is your favorite foreign food? How is it different from... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 1382
133691 Homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 927
133690 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 1
133689 Do you ever buy things and then think it was a mistake? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1177
133688 What makes your family special? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1425
133687 Keeping in touch with our loved ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 947
133686 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 968

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04