¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Promoting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-03 1994

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to promote myself. You know what? Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.

I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. These things always enforce my value. The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You wrote a touching and reasonable essay, Jun! May you always see your value as a person. You were created with purpose and uniqueness. For my capitalization tip for you, the pronoun 'I' should always be capitalized.-Faith-
I want to promote myself. 
>> CORRECT
You know what? 
>> Do you know why?
Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. 
>> Most people do not know how precious we are.
Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. 
>> Even though we are good at work, they do not value our presence. 
I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. 
>> I had also ignored my self until I have started meditation. 
Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.
>> However, after doing that, I can tell I have to be proud of myself because I am the most valuable thing to myself.
I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
>> I¡¯m tall, I maintain a good shape, and I always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
These things always enforce my value. 
>> CORRECT
OR These things enlighten me about my worth. 
The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.
>> The final step is to be a respectful person so that most people around me like to resemble me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137862 Generally, what do kids in Korea want to be when they grow up?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1476
137861 stand out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137860 Home work ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1438
137859 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 1460
137858 Free time ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137857 In the morning ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137856 Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1076
137855 1 ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1
137854 How to effectively save money for the future? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1457
137853 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1104
137852 K-drama ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1837
137851 2024.06.13 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1395
137850 2024.06.14 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 2
137849 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1626
137848 What are the biggest challenges to being an immigrant? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1
137847 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1421
137846 What is your favorite Christmas song? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 2
137845 Why is making eye contact important? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1451
137844 What are you passionate about? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1356
137843 Is it hard to apologize? How do you apologize to someone? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1486

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04