¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

food

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-09-01 2340

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I worry about our products and food including sea food.

But the reason is not only the treated water but also environment destruction.

We are eating already many contaminated food, processed food and instant food that harm to the body.

People blame the treated wate more than necessary.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Ms. Lily!
How have you been?
Thank you that despite being busy, you still find ways to answer the question that I gave you because our class time is really limited and we don't get a chance to discuss more about the topic. 
See you later!
Aki~

I worry about our products and food including sea food.
>>> CORRECT!

But the reason is not only the treated water but also environment destruction.
>>> CORRECT!

We are eating already many contaminated food, processed food and instant food that harm to the body.
>>> We are eating already many contaminated food, processed food and instant food that harm to the body.

People blame the treated water more than necessary.
>>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130418 ¤µ ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3179
130417 When did you last hang out with your friends? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3551
130416 Why is it necessary to keep one\'s privacy in this... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4100
130415 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3138
130414 The importance of having a vacation ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4038
130413 The importance of advertising a product ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3536
130412 WRITING TASK: What was your favorite trip? Please tell me the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130411 Homework : If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life,... ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3355
130410 What are the usual consequences of being tardy or absent? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130409 How can different generations improve their communication with... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3606
130408 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3690
130407 fear ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3134
130406 8/23 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130405 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3174
130404 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130403 Can you share a time when a friend supported you differently... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130402 Write about your experience wite COVID-19. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130401 What\'s your thought on the relationship between fans and the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3
130400 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130399 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04