¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-08-31 930

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
How was your day?
As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
You know the reasons.
Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
Do you workout sometimes for your health?
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

I had a fantastic day yesterday. It was not quite hectic and we went to a snack buffet and ate our hearts out with my son, sisters, and my nephew. It is our simple pleasure amidst our busy schedules at work. On the other hand, you were working all day long computing your revenue for the month of August. Congratulations to you and your clinical staff! You have done it again and will continue to do so every month of all the years.

Meanwhile, we have heard, read, and learned about the countless benefits of working out yet, we still fail to do it as you have said. In this capitalist world, we barely have time to pay attention to make ourselves healthy since we have to immerse ourselves to a lot of time devoted to work. Yet, as our body is our first business and our home, we should never neglect keeping it in shape similarly to a house that needs maintenance and care every now and then.

Right now, enjoy the fatigue and never let it defeat you and your goal to stay healthy and active. Experts say that exercise is not about the intensity but the frequency of this action that matters more to achieve the best results.

Thus, let us stay fit and healthy for our selves towards our family.

I have some grammar comments and suggestions below. Kindly read them with intent and keenness. You did excellent as usual!

I will see you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
>> Because there were four days of vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than the last one. Very good sentence! 

It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
>> Correct!
Or: It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month until yesterday though.

Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
>>Fortunately, we achieved to beat last month today eventually.

Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
>> Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on my whole body.

You know the reasons.
>> Correct!

Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
>> Correct!

When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
>> Correct!

And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
>> Correct!
Or: nonetheless

Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
>> Correct!

Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
>> Correct!

With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
>> Correct!
Or: With our effort and time, exercise gives us a definite result more than anything.

Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
>> Of course, we don't do that immediately despite knowing that.

Do you workout sometimes for your health?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2648
130290 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1632
130289 If given the chance, what policies in Korea do you wish to... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2079
130288 How do you find balance between work and personal life? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1583
130287 Do you take vitamins? Do they really help people, or do they... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130286 Would you allow Lucy to sleep on your bed? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130285 What makes healthy lifestyle important? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1658
130284 What do you think is an effective way to encourage people to... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1981
130283 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1192
130282 homework 08.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1521
130281 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 0
130280 Would you rather be half-Korean or full-blooded Korean? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2
130279 To compare which is difficult in English. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2527
130278 Focus something on my life. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1462
130277 Benefits of losing weights ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2438
130276 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2006
130275 What\'s a memory that makes you happy? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1701
130274 Friend in need is indeed ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2053
130273 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2002

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04