¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-08-31 916

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
How was your day?
As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
You know the reasons.
Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
Do you workout sometimes for your health?
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

I had a fantastic day yesterday. It was not quite hectic and we went to a snack buffet and ate our hearts out with my son, sisters, and my nephew. It is our simple pleasure amidst our busy schedules at work. On the other hand, you were working all day long computing your revenue for the month of August. Congratulations to you and your clinical staff! You have done it again and will continue to do so every month of all the years.

Meanwhile, we have heard, read, and learned about the countless benefits of working out yet, we still fail to do it as you have said. In this capitalist world, we barely have time to pay attention to make ourselves healthy since we have to immerse ourselves to a lot of time devoted to work. Yet, as our body is our first business and our home, we should never neglect keeping it in shape similarly to a house that needs maintenance and care every now and then.

Right now, enjoy the fatigue and never let it defeat you and your goal to stay healthy and active. Experts say that exercise is not about the intensity but the frequency of this action that matters more to achieve the best results.

Thus, let us stay fit and healthy for our selves towards our family.

I have some grammar comments and suggestions below. Kindly read them with intent and keenness. You did excellent as usual!

I will see you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
>> Because there were four days of vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than the last one. Very good sentence! 

It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
>> Correct!
Or: It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month until yesterday though.

Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
>>Fortunately, we achieved to beat last month today eventually.

Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
>> Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on my whole body.

You know the reasons.
>> Correct!

Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
>> Correct!

When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
>> Correct!

And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
>> Correct!
Or: nonetheless

Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
>> Correct!

Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
>> Correct!

With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
>> Correct!
Or: With our effort and time, exercise gives us a definite result more than anything.

Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
>> Of course, we don't do that immediately despite knowing that.

Do you workout sometimes for your health?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130569 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1454
130568 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1
130567 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 3
130566 homework 08.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1000
130565 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 0
130564 What do you like to eat in a buffet restaurant? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1035
130563 Do you believe in crystallomancy? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1455
130562 What I will do if I see her ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 2073
130561 What do you like to eat breakfast? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1198
130560 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 0
130559 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1357
130558 What I liked her. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1424
130557 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 814
130556 When can \"helping\" become a bad thing? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1335
130555 What fantasy story or movie do you like? Share the plot of the... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1017
130554 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1621
130553 Favorite food ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 5
130552 Answer in full sentences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 849
130551 Have you ever tried TikTok? What do you know about it? Share... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1
130550 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \" The greatest... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04