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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-08-31 563

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
How was your day?
As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
You know the reasons.
Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
Do you workout sometimes for your health?
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Dr. Kim!

I had a fantastic day yesterday. It was not quite hectic and we went to a snack buffet and ate our hearts out with my son, sisters, and my nephew. It is our simple pleasure amidst our busy schedules at work. On the other hand, you were working all day long computing your revenue for the month of August. Congratulations to you and your clinical staff! You have done it again and will continue to do so every month of all the years.

Meanwhile, we have heard, read, and learned about the countless benefits of working out yet, we still fail to do it as you have said. In this capitalist world, we barely have time to pay attention to make ourselves healthy since we have to immerse ourselves to a lot of time devoted to work. Yet, as our body is our first business and our home, we should never neglect keeping it in shape similarly to a house that needs maintenance and care every now and then.

Right now, enjoy the fatigue and never let it defeat you and your goal to stay healthy and active. Experts say that exercise is not about the intensity but the frequency of this action that matters more to achieve the best results.

Thus, let us stay fit and healthy for our selves towards our family.

I have some grammar comments and suggestions below. Kindly read them with intent and keenness. You did excellent as usual!

I will see you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
>> Because there were four days of vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than the last one. Very good sentence! 

It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
>> Correct!
Or: It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month until yesterday though.

Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
>>Fortunately, we achieved to beat last month today eventually.

Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
>> Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on my whole body.

You know the reasons.
>> Correct!

Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
>> Correct!

When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
>> Correct!

And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
>> Correct!
Or: nonetheless

Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
>> Correct!

Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
>> Correct!

With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
>> Correct!
Or: With our effort and time, exercise gives us a definite result more than anything.

Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
>> Of course, we don't do that immediately despite knowing that.

Do you workout sometimes for your health?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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