¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-08-31 597

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
How was your day?
As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
You know the reasons.
Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
Do you workout sometimes for your health?
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

I had a fantastic day yesterday. It was not quite hectic and we went to a snack buffet and ate our hearts out with my son, sisters, and my nephew. It is our simple pleasure amidst our busy schedules at work. On the other hand, you were working all day long computing your revenue for the month of August. Congratulations to you and your clinical staff! You have done it again and will continue to do so every month of all the years.

Meanwhile, we have heard, read, and learned about the countless benefits of working out yet, we still fail to do it as you have said. In this capitalist world, we barely have time to pay attention to make ourselves healthy since we have to immerse ourselves to a lot of time devoted to work. Yet, as our body is our first business and our home, we should never neglect keeping it in shape similarly to a house that needs maintenance and care every now and then.

Right now, enjoy the fatigue and never let it defeat you and your goal to stay healthy and active. Experts say that exercise is not about the intensity but the frequency of this action that matters more to achieve the best results.

Thus, let us stay fit and healthy for our selves towards our family.

I have some grammar comments and suggestions below. Kindly read them with intent and keenness. You did excellent as usual!

I will see you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

As I predicted, I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

Because there were four days vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than last one.
>> Because there were four days of vacation last month, the profit of this month should have been higher than the last one. Very good sentence! 

It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month by yesterday though.
>> Correct!
Or: It seemed to be impossible to make more money than last month until yesterday though.

Fortunately, we achived to beat the last month today eventually.
>>Fortunately, we achieved to beat last month today eventually.

Dr. MJ looked very happy, and I felt good, too.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on whole body.
>> Meanwhile, I was fatigued all day and I had much myalgia on my whole body.

You know the reasons.
>> Correct!

Nevertheless, I will never regret what I did yesterday.
>> Correct!

When I met a friend who lost his father, he really seemed to be comforted.
>> Correct!

And, intensive exercise made much pain of my muscles, nontheless, I felt I became healthier.
>> Correct!
Or: nonetheless

Also, we can have an achievement during workout.
>> Correct!

Repetative achievements can make a success in our lives, I am sure.
>> Correct!

With our effort and time, exercise gives us the definate result than anything.
>> Correct!
Or: With our effort and time, exercise gives us a definite result more than anything.

Of course, we don't do that immediately despite we know that.
>> Of course, we don't do that immediately despite knowing that.

Do you workout sometimes for your health?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132662 What do you spend your day thinking about most? Why? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1421
132661 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 0
132660 homework 11.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1112
132659 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 2
132658 Me and my friends ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 508
132657 The busiest event in korea ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 634
132656 My favorite food ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 0
132655 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 774
132654 Why do people say ¡®patience is a virtue¡¯? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 2
132653 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you consider... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1
132652 Things that make me angry ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 2
132651 Why do you think some students don\'t do their homework? Express... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 556
132650 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1023
132649 English interview ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 4
132648 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1
132647 When discussing a product with your supplier, do you prefer to... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1
132646 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 0
132645 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1289
132644 In this generation, would you let your family live in the... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1049
132643 Do you see yourself living in the countryside after retirement?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1345

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04