¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.31

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-31 841

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Who plays video games more, adults or children? Why?

In my opinion, adults play more video games using a game consoles more than children.
I think the reason is the memories.
Maybe we have these kinds of childhood memories.
When we was young, memories of not having what we wanted things.
Or the memories of having again the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
It's called "Kidult" in these day's word.
Kidult is become a hobby these day's.
So, many adults play video games using a game consoles.
On the other hand, I think children also play games using a smartphone.
In other countries of case, I don't know well.
But In Korea, parents don't like children playing computer games at home.
So, children then to play games using a smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Who plays video games more, adults or children? Why?


In my opinion, adults play more video games using a game consoles more than children.
>> In my opinion, adults play more video games using game consoles more than children.
I think the reason is the memories.
>> CORRECT!
Maybe we have these kinds of childhood memories.
>> CORRECT!
When we was young, memories of not having what we wanted things.
>> When we were young, we have memories of not having the things we wanted.
Or the memories of having again the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
>> Or we may also have the memories of having the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
It's called "Kidult" in these day's word.
>> CORRECT!
Kidult is become a hobby these day's.
>> Kidult has become a hobby these days.
So, many adults play video games using a game consoles.
>> So, many adults play video games using game consoles
On the other hand, I think children also play games using a smartphone.
>> CORRECT!
In other countries of case, I don't know well.
>> In other countries' case, I don't know it well.
But In Korea, parents don't like children playing computer games at home.
>> CORRECT!
So, children then to play games using a smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.
>> So, children tend to play games using smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129274 What is your favorite place in your house? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1009
129273 fat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 0
129272 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1660
129271 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1
129270 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 3
129269 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 0
129268 How do you deal with boredom? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1
129267 Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1914
129266 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1386
129265 HOMEWORK FOR 5/5 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1
129264 HOMEWORK FOR 5/3 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 2
129263 HOMEWORK FOR 5/1 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 2
129262 How can friends have a bad influence on you? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 0
129261 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1993
129260 7/4 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 3264
129259 WRITING TASK: If you could go to Hong Kong today, what would you... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 2
129258 victims ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1478
129257 homework essay(2023. 7. 4.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1
129256 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 1604
129255 handle my feeling ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-04 994

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04