¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.31

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-31 1230

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Who plays video games more, adults or children? Why?

In my opinion, adults play more video games using a game consoles more than children.
I think the reason is the memories.
Maybe we have these kinds of childhood memories.
When we was young, memories of not having what we wanted things.
Or the memories of having again the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
It's called "Kidult" in these day's word.
Kidult is become a hobby these day's.
So, many adults play video games using a game consoles.
On the other hand, I think children also play games using a smartphone.
In other countries of case, I don't know well.
But In Korea, parents don't like children playing computer games at home.
So, children then to play games using a smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Who plays video games more, adults or children? Why?


In my opinion, adults play more video games using a game consoles more than children.
>> In my opinion, adults play more video games using game consoles more than children.
I think the reason is the memories.
>> CORRECT!
Maybe we have these kinds of childhood memories.
>> CORRECT!
When we was young, memories of not having what we wanted things.
>> When we were young, we have memories of not having the things we wanted.
Or the memories of having again the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
>> Or we may also have the memories of having the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
It's called "Kidult" in these day's word.
>> CORRECT!
Kidult is become a hobby these day's.
>> Kidult has become a hobby these days.
So, many adults play video games using a game consoles.
>> So, many adults play video games using game consoles
On the other hand, I think children also play games using a smartphone.
>> CORRECT!
In other countries of case, I don't know well.
>> In other countries' case, I don't know it well.
But In Korea, parents don't like children playing computer games at home.
>> CORRECT!
So, children then to play games using a smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.
>> So, children tend to play games using smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132616 What benefits do you think meditation brings? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2
132615 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2
132614 Career change ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1461
132613 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132612 Does homework help kids learn? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2493
132611 Are you the type of person who plans everything? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1357
132610 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1587
132609 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1430
132608 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it healthy... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132607 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132606 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1780
132605 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132604 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132603 A memorable day ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132602 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1752
132601 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2161
132600 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous organization in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 3
132599 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1533
132598 the importance of effective communication ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1821
132597 I am under the weather ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04