¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.31

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-31 1643

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Who plays video games more, adults or children? Why?

In my opinion, adults play more video games using a game consoles more than children.
I think the reason is the memories.
Maybe we have these kinds of childhood memories.
When we was young, memories of not having what we wanted things.
Or the memories of having again the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
It's called "Kidult" in these day's word.
Kidult is become a hobby these day's.
So, many adults play video games using a game consoles.
On the other hand, I think children also play games using a smartphone.
In other countries of case, I don't know well.
But In Korea, parents don't like children playing computer games at home.
So, children then to play games using a smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Who plays video games more, adults or children? Why?


In my opinion, adults play more video games using a game consoles more than children.
>> In my opinion, adults play more video games using game consoles more than children.
I think the reason is the memories.
>> CORRECT!
Maybe we have these kinds of childhood memories.
>> CORRECT!
When we was young, memories of not having what we wanted things.
>> When we were young, we have memories of not having the things we wanted.
Or the memories of having again the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
>> Or we may also have the memories of having the games or toys we enjoyed as a child.
It's called "Kidult" in these day's word.
>> CORRECT!
Kidult is become a hobby these day's.
>> Kidult has become a hobby these days.
So, many adults play video games using a game consoles.
>> So, many adults play video games using game consoles
On the other hand, I think children also play games using a smartphone.
>> CORRECT!
In other countries of case, I don't know well.
>> In other countries' case, I don't know it well.
But In Korea, parents don't like children playing computer games at home.
>> CORRECT!
So, children then to play games using a smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.
>> So, children tend to play games using smartphones instead of game consoles and computer.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137934 How do you prioritize your tasks and goals at work? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1136
137933 How does stress affect people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 978
137932 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1028
137931 How do you think Koreans can reduce food waste? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1152
137930 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1253
137929 E-world honorary ambassador ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1095
137928 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 0
137927 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 3
137926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137925 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 2
137924 Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1282
137923 What sport would you want to try or learn? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1247
137922 What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1019
137921 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1073
137920 What do you think is interesting about your culture? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 824
137919 Are you good at time management or managing your time? Explain... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 0
137918 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1204
137917 What are some tourist attractions in your city? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1117
137916 Q) Can sadness be useful in people¡¯s lives? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 2
137915 2024.06.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 1322

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04