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영작교정 게시판

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What are the best ways to keep yourself fit?

작성자: 김*경
2023-08-31 770

회원님의 영작문

First of all, we need to be careful about what and how much to eat to get in shape. If possible, we should have an organic food and vegetable-based diet with moderate amounts of food every meal. I think we need to shell out for a healthy diet to make sure that we can live a long and healthy life. That's because our average life expectancy is about 100 years old.

Also, we need to work out on a regular basis. On top of that, we try to secure enough time for sleep every day and abstain from any behaviors to hamper your sound sleep, such as eating something within 4 hours before you sleep, because sound sleep is an essential part of your healthy life.

Besides, we need to be careful about not only physical health but also mental health to keep us fit. That’s because many physical illnesses have something to do with mental disorders and vice versa. For example, we sometimes feel lethargic from mental problems and don't have the physical strength to do it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

Here are some things to take note of:

1. First of all, we need to be careful about what and how much to eat to get in shape. 
>>CORRECT!

2. If possible, we should have an organic food and vegetable-based diet with moderate amounts of food every meal. 
>>If possible, we should have organic food and vegetable-based diet in moderate amounts in every meal. 

3. I think we need to shell out for a healthy diet to make sure that we can live a long and healthy life. 
>>CORRECT!

4. That's because our average life expectancy is about 100 years old.
>>The reason is that our average life expectancy is only about 100 years old.

5. Also, we need to work out on a regular basis. 
>>CORRECT!

6. On top of that, we try to secure enough time for sleep every day and abstain from any behaviors to hamper your sound sleep, such as eating something within 4 hours before you sleep, because sound sleep is an essential part of your healthy life.
>>On top of that, we need to secure enough time for sleep every day and abstain from any behavior that hampers our sound sleep, such as eating something within 4 hours before sleeping. Sound sleep is an essential part of a healthy life.

7. Besides, we need to be careful about not only physical health but also mental health to keep us fit. 
>>Additionally, we need to be careful about not only our physical health but also our mental health to keep us fit.

8. That’s because many physical illnesses have something to do with mental disorders and vice versa. 
>>Many physical illnesses have something to do with mental disorders and vice versa.

9. For example, we sometimes feel lethargic from mental problems and don't have the physical strength to do it.
>>For example, we sometimes feel lethargic because of our mental problems and don't have the physical strength to do things.
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