¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To advise the other one

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-30 410

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I advise someone who is depressed, I will say that you should run just 10 minutes a day. I have overcome with running when I depressed. The running can make some neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. Those are effects to our brain and make us happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Thomas.

You surely know how to overcome and succeed depression. In truth, we all get depressed sometimes only in different levels. This is something not taught in schools but one that we have to experience and go through to learn.

Then, keep running, loving, and making yourself better to add more value to who you are. That is attractive to women.

Go over my suggestions below and make sure to note down the correct patterns to make your speech and writing better. Well done!

See you!

-T. Donna~

If I advise someone who is depressed, I will say that you should run just 10 minutes a day. 
>> If I advise someone who is depressed, I will say that this person should run just 10 minutes a day. 

I have overcome with running when I depressed. 
>> I have overcome with running when I'm depressed.

The running can make some neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. 
>> Running can make some neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. 

Those are effects to our brain and make us happy.
>> Correct!
Or: Those are the effects to our brain and make us happy.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131444 What is your pet peeve? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 585
131443 Regret saying yes ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 768
131442 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 856
131441 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131440 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131439 caffeinated drinks ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 924
131438 Essay - consequences from birthrate decrease in future (1) È«*Ç¥ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 874
131437 Why I like brand clothes ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 6
131436 Can you share a specific situation where a weakness of yours had... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 758
131435 Instructions: Use the expression in the sentence: ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 6
131434 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1120
131433 homework 10.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 879
131432 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 0
131431 Would a harsher punishment really make criminals fear the system? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1
131430 What would you do to make learning fun?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 880
131429 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1022
131428 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 998
131427 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1
131426 Do you enjoy working in groups or alone? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 869
131425 My top 3 priorities are... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 749

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04