¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To advise the other one

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-30 1006

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I advise someone who is depressed, I will say that you should run just 10 minutes a day. I have overcome with running when I depressed. The running can make some neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. Those are effects to our brain and make us happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Thomas.

You surely know how to overcome and succeed depression. In truth, we all get depressed sometimes only in different levels. This is something not taught in schools but one that we have to experience and go through to learn.

Then, keep running, loving, and making yourself better to add more value to who you are. That is attractive to women.

Go over my suggestions below and make sure to note down the correct patterns to make your speech and writing better. Well done!

See you!

-T. Donna~

If I advise someone who is depressed, I will say that you should run just 10 minutes a day. 
>> If I advise someone who is depressed, I will say that this person should run just 10 minutes a day. 

I have overcome with running when I depressed. 
>> I have overcome with running when I'm depressed.

The running can make some neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. 
>> Running can make some neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. 

Those are effects to our brain and make us happy.
>> Correct!
Or: Those are the effects to our brain and make us happy.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133950 16.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133949 What can you say about the generation gap? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1281
133948 homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133947 homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 3
133946 homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 4
133945 I spend my day off like this °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133944 Do you think a painting can really be worth a million (or more)... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 791
133943 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 0
133942 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 3
133941 What is the hardest part to learn in English? Why? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2027
133940 Spending lavishly ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1875
133939 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1412
133938 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1
133937 About sports °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1679
133936 homework 01.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1534
133935 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 237
133934 What are the most common factories in your hometown? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0
133933 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1680
133932 Music is language ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0
133931 Are they real people? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04