¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Answer for My birthday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2023-08-30 851

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I am grateful for being born healthy and I think it's the most special day of the year. Because it's only once a year, everyone say congratulations to me and hear me say dcongratulations. It's a very happy and bless day. I think it's a day full of joy in many ways.

If I think about the past, my perspective on birthdays has changed as I get older.
When I was baby, it was just a happy day. And it was a fun day to have a birthday party with all my friends when I was in elementary school. When I was a middle school student, I was sad that I couldn't spend my birthday with my friends because I was on vacation. And I was in high school either, I couldn't enjoy my birthday because of college entrance exams.
Now I think it's a day where I say thank you to my parents rather than being congratulated on my birthday. Because I am a premature baby born when I was 8 months pregnant. I always feel grateful to my parents because I know how hard it's to protect, give birth to children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Yun! Happiest birthday! You are thoughtful and a great child to your parents. I know they are also lucky to have such a loving and kind daughter. I wish you the best always, and have a wonderful day! 
~T. Jade^^
First of all, I am grateful for being born healthy and I think it's the most special day of the year.

>> Correct

Because it's only once a year, everyone say congratulations to me and hear me say dcongratulations.

>> Because it's only once a year, I hear everyone saying congratulations to me.

It's a very happy and bless day.

>> It's a very happy and blessed day. 

I think it's a day full of joy in many ways.

>> Correct
If I think about the past, my perspective on birthdays has changed as I get older.

>> Correct
When I was baby, it was just a happy day.

>> When I was a baby, it was just a happy day.

And it was a fun day to have a birthday party with all my friends when I was in elementary school.

>> Correct

When I was a middle school student, I was sad that I couldn't spend my birthday with my friends because I was on vacation.

>> Correct

And I was in high school either, I couldn't enjoy my birthday because of college entrance exams.

>> Also when I was in high school, I couldn't enjoy my birthday because of college entrance exams.
Now I think it's a day where I say thank you to my parents rather than being congratulated on my birthday.

>> Correct

Because I am a premature baby born when I was 8 months pregnant.

>>  Because I was born a premature baby, and my mother was just 8 months pregnant at that time.

>> OR: I was born prematurely when my mother was 8 months pregnant.

I always feel grateful to my parents because I know how hard it's to protect, give birth to children.

>> I always feel grateful to my parents because I know how hard it is to protect and give birth to children.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130843 human right ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 950
130842 WRITING TASK: Do you think there is a way to be always prepared... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 5
130841 questions) È«*Ç¥ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 748
130840 If you wrote a letter to your government, what would you write... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 1
130839 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 981
130838 What\'s a life experience you\'re looking forward to in the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 989
130837 How do you stay motivated and passionate about your career over... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 1
130836 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 973
130835 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1501
130834 Where are some good places to meet people? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130833 Homework-230906 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2
130832 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3
130831 Writing ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1173
130830 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 896
130829 4 ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2022
130828 Homework ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1088
130827 homework 09.06 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1676
130826 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130825 What I always carry in my bag ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 829
130824 Do you consider yourself a good artist? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04