¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-08-30 1421

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

Nowadays, people don't gather as familly. They scatter each other because of their duty.
When they marriaged people and no child, he or she can move their jobs.
He puts his wife and then go to the other cities to keep his jobs.
if they have a baby, can go to the better place for child education.
There are many things that we live different place each other.
The bad things are that it makes bad feeling such as blue, sad, lonely, and anger.
And these make family bronken.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Lee~!^^ You know what I want to eat kimchi now. Hahaha! I will buy later. Anyway, thank for your homework! Keep up the good work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Nowadays, people don't gather as familly. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They scatter each other because of their duty.
>>> They're scattered in different place because of their duty.
When they marriaged people and no child, he or she can move their jobs.
>>> Unmarried people can move anywhere for their job. 
He puts his wife and then go to the other cities to keep his jobs.
>>> Fathers leave their wives then go to the other cities to keep their jobs.
if they have a baby, can go to the better place for child education.
>>> If they have children, they can choose a better place for their children's education. 
There are many things that we live different place each other.
>>> There are many reasons why we live separately from each other. 
The bad things are that it makes bad feeling such as blue, sad, lonely, and anger.
>>> The disadvantage is that it makes us feel bad, feel blue, sad, lonely and angry. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127438 What\'s the best Christmas you\'ve ever had? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1032
127437 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 712
127436 The big event which made me change ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1084
127435 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127434 Essay homework (04/13) ÃÖ*Çå ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 888
127433 Why is English used in so many places? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127432 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 718
127431 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 2
127430 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127429 Could you imagine yourself being away from home for a very long... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 871
127428 Homework. 23.04.13 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 786
127427 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127426 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1055
127425 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 631
127424 4.13 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 754
127423 where do you usually meet new people? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 821
127422 What do you think houses/apartments in the future will be like? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 838
127421 single ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1198
127420 Navigation app ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127419 Ideal characteristics ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 858

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04