¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-08-30 762

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

Nowadays, people don't gather as familly. They scatter each other because of their duty.
When they marriaged people and no child, he or she can move their jobs.
He puts his wife and then go to the other cities to keep his jobs.
if they have a baby, can go to the better place for child education.
There are many things that we live different place each other.
The bad things are that it makes bad feeling such as blue, sad, lonely, and anger.
And these make family bronken.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Lee~!^^ You know what I want to eat kimchi now. Hahaha! I will buy later. Anyway, thank for your homework! Keep up the good work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Nowadays, people don't gather as familly. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They scatter each other because of their duty.
>>> They're scattered in different place because of their duty.
When they marriaged people and no child, he or she can move their jobs.
>>> Unmarried people can move anywhere for their job. 
He puts his wife and then go to the other cities to keep his jobs.
>>> Fathers leave their wives then go to the other cities to keep their jobs.
if they have a baby, can go to the better place for child education.
>>> If they have children, they can choose a better place for their children's education. 
There are many things that we live different place each other.
>>> There are many reasons why we live separately from each other. 
The bad things are that it makes bad feeling such as blue, sad, lonely, and anger.
>>> The disadvantage is that it makes us feel bad, feel blue, sad, lonely and angry. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130580 How do you think cyberbullying affects the lives of those... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 659
130579 What is the most challenging thing for you? ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 584
130578 How do we make sure that we are not compromising our health... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 1193
130577 The reason why I study English ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 1
130576 What is your favorite memory with your friends? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 3
130575 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 634
130574 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 567
130573 Word ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 827
130572 Do you prefer studying alone or in a group? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 2
130571 I would¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 834
130570 What advice would you give to someone who is considering... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 1
130569 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 781
130568 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1
130567 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 3
130566 homework 08.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 485
130565 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 0
130564 What do you like to eat in a buffet restaurant? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 590
130563 Do you believe in crystallomancy? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 976
130562 What I will do if I see her ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1311
130561 What do you like to eat breakfast? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 695

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04