¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-08-30 2246

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I can be a role model. I don't think role models can only be big things or famous people. I had so many shortcomings as a parent and a wife, so I received counseling and studied to become a wife in order to become a parent. And to make an effort, I asked my family to work together. Because I hated the life that everyone would live like that over time, we worked hard for a long time. Our family lives their own lives in their own places, and when we are together, we focus on our relationship and enjoy the time we spend together. People envy and envy our family relationship. Also, if something happens in their family, they ask me for advice. Then I tell my case, recommend professional counseling, and recommend myself to change first. People who know me like this have said that they want to be like me. I think that this may have a very small influence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eliana!
We easily influence other people on what they see that is different from them. It' is good that you have such kind of influence that could help other people.
Thank you for this!
Have a great day!
Aki~

I think I can be a role model.
>>> CORRECT!

I don't think role models can only be big things or famous people.
>>> CORRECT!

I had so many shortcomings as a parent and a wife, so I received counseling and studied to become a wife in order to become a parent. 
>>> CORRECT!

And to make an effort, I asked my family to work together. 
>>> CORRECT!

Because I hated the life that everyone would live like that over time, we worked hard for a long time. 
>>> CORRECT!

Our family lives their own lives in their own places, and when we are together, we focus on our relationship and enjoy the time we spend together.
>>> We live on our own lives and when we are together, we focus on our relationship and enjoy the time we spend together.

People envy and envy our family relationship. 
>>> People envy and they envy our family relationship

Also, if something happens in their family, they ask me for advice. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then I tell my case, recommend professional counseling, and recommend myself to change first.
>>> Then I tell my case, I recommend professional counseling and to change first.

People who know me like this have said that they want to be like me.
>>> CORRECT!

I think that this may have a very small influence.
>>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129566 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-17 2661
129565 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-17 0
129564 What is the purpose of the matchmaking events organized by local... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 2912
129563 Role of mother is.. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 2115
129562 What\'s the best thing about having a younger sister? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129561 7/14 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 3
129560 Writing Task 0703 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129559 What are your hobbies? Write about them. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129558 Do you brush your teeth after every meal ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 2309
129557 What is the most interesting movie you\'ve watched? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 2319
129556 How can organizations promote and foster a culture of strong... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129555 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 2251
129554 Do you find business meeting stressful? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1
129553 Homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2347
129552 Homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2454
129551 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2272
129550 What do you like doing during winter? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2698
129549 What is your favorite place in Korea, and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2617
129548 Is cancer a common disease in your country? If so, why do you... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2
129547 What\'s your thought on the way historical movies are made or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04