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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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Homework

작성자: 신*화
2023-08-30 1653

회원님의 영작문

I think I can be a role model. I don't think role models can only be big things or famous people. I had so many shortcomings as a parent and a wife, so I received counseling and studied to become a wife in order to become a parent. And to make an effort, I asked my family to work together. Because I hated the life that everyone would live like that over time, we worked hard for a long time. Our family lives their own lives in their own places, and when we are together, we focus on our relationship and enjoy the time we spend together. People envy and envy our family relationship. Also, if something happens in their family, they ask me for advice. Then I tell my case, recommend professional counseling, and recommend myself to change first. People who know me like this have said that they want to be like me. I think that this may have a very small influence.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eliana!
We easily influence other people on what they see that is different from them. It' is good that you have such kind of influence that could help other people.
Thank you for this!
Have a great day!
Aki~

I think I can be a role model.
>>> CORRECT!

I don't think role models can only be big things or famous people.
>>> CORRECT!

I had so many shortcomings as a parent and a wife, so I received counseling and studied to become a wife in order to become a parent. 
>>> CORRECT!

And to make an effort, I asked my family to work together. 
>>> CORRECT!

Because I hated the life that everyone would live like that over time, we worked hard for a long time. 
>>> CORRECT!

Our family lives their own lives in their own places, and when we are together, we focus on our relationship and enjoy the time we spend together.
>>> We live on our own lives and when we are together, we focus on our relationship and enjoy the time we spend together.

People envy and envy our family relationship. 
>>> People envy and they envy our family relationship

Also, if something happens in their family, they ask me for advice. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then I tell my case, recommend professional counseling, and recommend myself to change first.
>>> Then I tell my case, I recommend professional counseling and to change first.

People who know me like this have said that they want to be like me.
>>> CORRECT!

I think that this may have a very small influence.
>>> CORRECT!

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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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04

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