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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-08-29 1650

회원님의 영작문

Hi, there.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Even I can't see the outside through the window.
Now I am so worried about money.
Of course, I expected that there will be not too many patients in such a harsh rainy day.
However, there was one client who wanted to get a refund of all treatment expense that she paid before.
As you often says, when it rains, it pours.
The profit of today is minus level so far.
In addition, I am worried about my properties at home.
Every Tuesday and Saturday, my wife hired a woman to help a housework.
Since my wife went shopping today, that woman is staying at home alone.
There is a safe which contains some money and jewels in my room.
She has worked for quite a long time, so I trust her basically.
But I've dreamed nightmares about money lately, as you know.
I can tell you these issues more tomorrow morning.
Meanwhile, writing can last longer than talking, and if someone has a good writing skill, many people around him can respect him or her easily.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

It seems like we belong under the same sky today. It is pouring heavily out there as of this writing. We can only hope for a better weather for the next coming days.

One thing that our mothers taught us is to save for the rainy days. For sure, in its literal sense, it is the rainy season lately and people have different priorities- their basic needs. Perhaps, now you may understand better why Dr. Bae had his own promo with one of your machine franchise. It is because this season can be rough for many. The person who got the refund could also be in a dire financial condition.

Your dreams are as vivid as a High Definition OTT service. When I dream, I do not recall tiny details, only the climax part. Sometimes, we wonder what they mean. Are they a warning, a sign, a premonition, or a extension of our hidden
desires? Why do some dreams do not make sense at all and others seem so real, you can feel the intensity of the events.

I suggest you always follow your guts. If you feel uncomfortable leaving your money and jewels, take them with you or place them somewhere  only you know. It is good that you trust your helper but it is  better to be safe than sorry regarding your possessions.

Lastly, writing displays critical knowledge of one language. When we speak, we say the words and may not take them back. On the other hand, in writing, we can plan, revise, and edit our words to show how well we know in this language. Then, we cannot truly fathom how genius writers create stories using their rich imagination. However in reality, they have not become economically rich. ^^ 

Go over my grammar suggestions below. Some are about subject-verb agreements while others are correct choice of preposition. You did so well on this writing task!

Catch you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, there.
>> Correct!
Or: Hi there.

It's raining cats and dogs.
>> Correct!

Even I can't see the outside through the window.
>> I can't even see outside through the window.

Now I am so worried about money.
>> Correct!

Of course, I expected that there will be not too many patients in such a harsh rainy day.
>> Correct!

However, there was one client who wanted to get a refund of all treatment expense that she paid before.
>> However, there was one client who wanted to get a refund of all treatment expenses that she paid before.

As you often says, when it rains, it pours.
>> As you often say, when it rains, it pours.

The profit of today is minus level so far.
>> The profit for today is on a negative level so far.

In addition, I am worried about my properties at home.
>> Correct!

Every Tuesday and Saturday, my wife hired a woman to help a housework.
>> Every Tuesday and Saturday, my wife hired a woman to help with housework.

Since my wife went shopping today, that woman is staying at home alone.
>> Correct!

There is a safe which contains some money and jewels in my room.
>> Correct!

She has worked for quite a long time, so I trust her basically.
>> Correct!

But I've dreamed nightmares about money lately, as you know.
>> Correct!

I can tell you these issues more tomorrow morning.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, writing can last longer than talking, and if someone has a good writing skill, many people around him can respect him or her easily.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
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