¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can we possibly reduce the number of delinquents in the world?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-29 1389

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. But now far from it. Who is to blame? Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. It is a time for us to think about education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. 
>>Contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them.

2. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them.
>>CORRECT! 

3. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 
>>For example, recently, gangster movies or webtoons have become popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 

4. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. 
>>CORRECT!

5. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. 
>>Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of the students overpower the rights of the teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool for discipline. 

6. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! 
>>CORRECT!

7. We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. 
>>We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and respectful to elders for a long time. 

8. But now far from it. 
>>But now we are far from it.

9. Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. 
>>Now, what we did has turned out to be against us, let alone in a classroom.

10. It is a time for us to think about education.
>>It's about time for us to think about reforming education.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128037 Sleep!!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 677
128036 Children\'s rights ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 756
128035 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 727
128034 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 519
128033 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 690
128032 On what occasions do you gather with your whole family? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 607
128031 Would legalizing soft drugs help reduce crime? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 5
128030 my favorite ride in an amusementpark ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 646
128029 homework 05.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 557
128028 What things do you first notice about someone\'s appearance? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 663
128027 Who has given you the best advice for some common health... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 2
128026 What is the strangest food you¡¯ve seen or eaten while on... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 1088
128025 I hate the criminal. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 548
128024 Should an unpaid debt be a criminal offense? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 3
128023 In Korea, most people who retire run their own business.... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 584
128022 Investing at stock is the flower of capitalism ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1
128021 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 0
128020 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1167
128019 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1
128018 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04