¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can we possibly reduce the number of delinquents in the world?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-29 1121

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. But now far from it. Who is to blame? Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. It is a time for us to think about education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. 
>>Contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them.

2. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them.
>>CORRECT! 

3. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 
>>For example, recently, gangster movies or webtoons have become popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 

4. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. 
>>CORRECT!

5. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. 
>>Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of the students overpower the rights of the teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool for discipline. 

6. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! 
>>CORRECT!

7. We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. 
>>We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and respectful to elders for a long time. 

8. But now far from it. 
>>But now we are far from it.

9. Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. 
>>Now, what we did has turned out to be against us, let alone in a classroom.

10. It is a time for us to think about education.
>>It's about time for us to think about reforming education.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1454
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2608
130290 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1596
130289 If given the chance, what policies in Korea do you wish to... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2057
130288 How do you find balance between work and personal life? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1568
130287 Do you take vitamins? Do they really help people, or do they... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130286 Would you allow Lucy to sleep on your bed? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130285 What makes healthy lifestyle important? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1636
130284 What do you think is an effective way to encourage people to... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1959
130283 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1156
130282 homework 08.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1482
130281 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 0
130280 Would you rather be half-Korean or full-blooded Korean? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2
130279 To compare which is difficult in English. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2487
130278 Focus something on my life. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1441
130277 Benefits of losing weights ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2416
130276 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1965
130275 What\'s a memory that makes you happy? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1663
130274 Friend in need is indeed ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 2016

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04