¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can we possibly reduce the number of delinquents in the world?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-29 818

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. But now far from it. Who is to blame? Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. It is a time for us to think about education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. 
>>Contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them.

2. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them.
>>CORRECT! 

3. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 
>>For example, recently, gangster movies or webtoons have become popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 

4. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. 
>>CORRECT!

5. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. 
>>Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of the students overpower the rights of the teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool for discipline. 

6. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! 
>>CORRECT!

7. We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. 
>>We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and respectful to elders for a long time. 

8. But now far from it. 
>>But now we are far from it.

9. Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. 
>>Now, what we did has turned out to be against us, let alone in a classroom.

10. It is a time for us to think about education.
>>It's about time for us to think about reforming education.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128968 6/20 Wiriting Task ÀÌ*Àç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 597
128967 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 563
128966 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 275
128965 What three adjectives best describe your personality? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 392
128964 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1
128963 Have you ever been influenced to do or not do something because... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 350
128962 Do you think that using social media to prevent dementia can... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 318
128961 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 394
128960 My family gatheribg ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 280
128959 What are your thoughts about the use of solar power? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128958 homework 06.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 203
128957 My favorite teacher ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 185
128956 If you were the head of the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety,... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 6
128955 What vegetable do you like the most and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 310
128954 My dream life abroad ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 301
128953 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 305
128952 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 159
128951 Homework 6/19 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128950 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 300
128949 How important is tourism to your country? What is eco-tourism?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 480

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04