¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can we possibly reduce the number of delinquents in the world?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-29 715

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. But now far from it. Who is to blame? Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. It is a time for us to think about education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Above all, contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them. 
>>Contemporary youngsters get a flood of information on delinquents from around them.

2. Young people are more likely to follow suit without discernment than older generations and we need to control the environment that influences them.
>>CORRECT! 

3. For example, recently gangster movies or webtoons have popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 
>>For example, recently, gangster movies or webtoons have become popular in Korea, and the young generation can watch them without difficulty. 

4. On top of that, we need to teach kids how to obey parents and teachers. 
>>CORRECT!

5. Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of students overpower the rights of teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool of discipline. 
>>Now, in a classroom in Korea, the rights of the students overpower the rights of the teachers so teachers can¡¯t even use corporal punishment as a tool for discipline. 

6. When teachers discipline students for their wrongdoing, teachers have to walk on the eggshells around students. What a situation! 
>>CORRECT!

7. We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and those who respected elders for a long time. 
>>We Koreans used to be admired as polite people and respectful to elders for a long time. 

8. But now far from it. 
>>But now we are far from it.

9. Now, what we did wrong has been turned out around us, let alone in a classroom. 
>>Now, what we did has turned out to be against us, let alone in a classroom.

10. It is a time for us to think about education.
>>It's about time for us to think about reforming education.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130620 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 762
130619 What are you most passionate about? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3
130618 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 877
130617 homework °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 834
130616 WRITING TASK: What was the best decision you have ever made? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 4
130615 What are the languages you are learning and would still want to... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 6
130614 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What is the best way to learn a... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130613 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1651
130612 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 537
130611 Have you ever argued with your neighbors? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 539
130610 What kinds of books have you read? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0
130609 Home work ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 827
130608 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130607 What are some of the most popular types of content on TikTok in... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1002
130606 Can phobias be overcome? If so, what methods or strategies might... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 1
130605 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 716
130604 Home Work °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 0
130603 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 0
130602 What\'s your thought on the country allowing under-14 to have a... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 3
130601 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04