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영작교정 게시판

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What is the best advice to give to your fellow parents who have sick children?

작성자: 김*경
2023-08-29 1625

회원님의 영작문

I’d have empathy for my fellow parents with sick kids rather than giving them advice on what to do, and how to respond to it. I try to stay beside them physically or mentally as much as possible. All they need is not cerebral advice but compassion.

Raising children helps me more mature than any other. We as parents stayed up all night caring for sick kids, praying for their recovery. We also exulted over our kid's small achievements as if we made it. Parents and children had good and bad things in common. Parents try their best to raise their children throughout their lives, even after their children get married. In some sense, what drives parents is benefits for their children.
Therefore, when their kids are sick, what they need is comfort and consolation and your prayers for their children's getting back to health.

But as I said earlier, I hope that parents with sick children don't take it too seriously because the human body is surprisingly resilient. Don't worry a lot.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some things to take note of:

1. I’d have empathy for my fellow parents with sick kids rather than giving them advice on what to do, and how to respond to it. 
>>CORRECT!

2. I try to stay beside them physically or mentally as much as possible. 
>>CORRECT!

3. All they need is not cerebral advice but compassion.
>>CORRECT!

4. Raising children helps me more mature than any other. 
>>Raising children helps me mature more than any other. 
5. We as parents stayed up all night caring for sick kids, praying for their recovery. 
>>We, parents, stay up all night caring for sick kids, praying for their recovery. 
6. We also exulted over our kid's small achievements as if we made it. 
>>We also exult over our kid's small achievements as if we made it.
7. Parents and children had good and bad things in common. 
>>Parents and children have good and bad things in common.
8. Parents try their best to raise their children throughout their lives, even after their children get married. 
>>CORRECT!

9. In some sense, what drives parents is benefits for their children.
>>In some sense, what drives parents is beneficial for their children.
10. Therefore, when their kids are sick, what they need is comfort and consolation and your prayers for their children's getting back to health.
>>Therefore, when their kids are sick, what they need is comfort, consolation and prayers for their children's good health.

11. But as I said earlier, I hope that parents with sick children don't take it too seriously because the human body is surprisingly resilient. 
>>CORRECT!

12. Don't worry a lot.
>>CORRECT!
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