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영작교정 게시판

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What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in your country?

작성자: 이*양
2023-08-29 1900

회원님의 영작문

I think changes in real estate prices is the biggest change in my country. From 2018 to 2022, real estate prices had risen rapidly. Then people hard to get their own house. It causes some changes in the families life.
First, single-person-families have increased recently. Because people don't want to get married even they have boy or girl friend.
Secondly, the birth rate have fall steadly. The couple who get married don't want to have a baby. Because they have to work fof making money to get their own house.
Lastly, people prefer to live close to thier family after marrige for the purpose of caring their children. In my case, I had lived together with my parents in raw for 3years. And now I live close to my sister for the same purpose.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you Sophia for doing your homework. You did well in explaining your thoughts. Keep up the good work then! ^^ T.Gelly


I think changes in real estate prices is the biggest change in my country. 
>> I think changes in real estate prices are the biggest change in my country.
From 2018 to 2022, real estate prices had risen rapidly. 
>> Correct
Then people hard to get their own house. 
>> Then it made it difficult for people to own a house.
It causes some changes in the families life.
>> It causes some changes in every family's life.
First, single-person-families have increased recently. 
>> First, single-person families have increased recently.
Because people don't want to get married even they have boy or girl friend.
>> Since people don't want to get married even if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. 
Secondly, the birth rate have fall steadly. 
>> Secondly, the birth rate had fallen steadily. 
The couple who get married don't want to have a baby. 
>> The couples who get married don't want to have any babies.
Because they have to work fof making money to get their own house.
>> Because they have to work to earn a living and get their own house.
Lastly, people prefer to live close to thier family after marrige for the purpose of caring their children. 
>> Lastly, people prefer to live close to their family after marriage for the purpose of caring for their children.
In my case, I had lived together with my parents in raw for 3years. 
>> In my case, I had lived together with my parents-in-law for 3 years.
And now I live close to my sister for the same purpose.
>> And right now I live close to my sister for the same purpose.
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