¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-28 1259

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?

The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?


The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
>> CORRECT!
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
>> I also think it's good to drink moderately for my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
>> But, there have been many accidents because of alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
>> I think in today's modern society, the Korean social problem is the get-together culture in the company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
>> CORRECT!
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
>> But, some bosses don't understand that's important to take a rest after work, but instead he forces company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
>> And, they say this every day:  "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
>> So, many young people dislike company dinners.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
>> Also, if I don't go there often, some companies would bully their subordinates or they can give a negative effect on the promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
>> Fortunately, these days, this culture has been avoided.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.
>> I don't understand these cultures and I think it needs to disappear.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128406 The gift that I want to receive on my birthday ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1271
128405 What is your favorite cartoon character and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 909
128404 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1135
128403 What do you do to loosen up after a busy exhausting day? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1130
128402 What are some ways to enjoy the summer vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1014
128401 Have you been to a dinosaur museum? How was it? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 0
128400 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1322
128399 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 836
128398 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1438
128397 What have you lost while traveling? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1146
128396 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 0
128395 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1230
128394 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1296
128393 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 0
128392 How do we maintain a healthy lifestyle? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128391 What noises don\'t you like? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 3
128390 Do you prefer hot countries or cool countries when you go on... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1020
128389 5/23 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1282
128388 19.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128387 22.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04