¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-28 672

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?

The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?


The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
>> CORRECT!
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
>> I also think it's good to drink moderately for my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
>> But, there have been many accidents because of alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
>> I think in today's modern society, the Korean social problem is the get-together culture in the company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
>> CORRECT!
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
>> But, some bosses don't understand that's important to take a rest after work, but instead he forces company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
>> And, they say this every day:  "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
>> So, many young people dislike company dinners.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
>> Also, if I don't go there often, some companies would bully their subordinates or they can give a negative effect on the promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
>> Fortunately, these days, this culture has been avoided.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.
>> I don't understand these cultures and I think it needs to disappear.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128746 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128745 What are some ways that artificial intelligence could be used to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 4
128744 My favorite movie ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 177
128743 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 261
128742 What is your favorite month and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 430
128741 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 373
128740 6/8 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 534
128739 When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 162
128738 Rock and roll!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 197
128737 What house chores do you do? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128736 What does a holiday mean to you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 427
128735 How much money do you think a grade schooler should receive as... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 316
128734 Why do you think it\'s easier to have bad habits than good ones? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 167
128733 Have you ever thought of giving up your holiday due to... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 468
128732 I am a angry bird ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128731 Writing Task 0607 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2
128730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128729 What advice can you give to people who are depressed? Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 327
128728 How do you know when to stop eating? Is it easy to eat too much? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 286
128727 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04