¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-28 546

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?

The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?


The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
>> CORRECT!
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
>> I also think it's good to drink moderately for my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
>> But, there have been many accidents because of alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
>> I think in today's modern society, the Korean social problem is the get-together culture in the company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
>> CORRECT!
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
>> But, some bosses don't understand that's important to take a rest after work, but instead he forces company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
>> And, they say this every day:  "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
>> So, many young people dislike company dinners.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
>> Also, if I don't go there often, some companies would bully their subordinates or they can give a negative effect on the promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
>> Fortunately, these days, this culture has been avoided.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.
>> I don't understand these cultures and I think it needs to disappear.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131164 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131163 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131162 would you rather do homework do chores?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 433
131161 Young people spend a lot of their \"formative years\" with... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131160 Which school subject is your least favorite and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 746
131159 Being an easy and relaxed person °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 3
131158 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 594
131157 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 695
131156 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What makes my... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131155 Are you afraid of what other people think of you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 469
131154 230919-HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131153 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131152 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 629
131151 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 278
131150 What are the biggest changes in your life recently? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 518
131149 What is your bucket list and why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 574
131148 Would you like to be a president someday? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 592
131147 What are the qualities you look for in a presidential candidate? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1110
131146 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 744
131145 Can you think of a situation where being dependable is important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 827

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04