¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-08-25 794

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree.
School life is said to be a small society.
I think it's natural to ask the student who has been harmed if the damage is due to the individual action.
It is impossible to punish from the beginning, so it is necessary to understand and persuade.
However, I think there should be a deserved punishment if you continue to do harm despite going through such a process.
This is because the other students who are with him will be directly or indirectly stressed mentally or physically.
I think we need to relearn the sense of community together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Eliana!
You constructed your sentences correctly.  Thank you for doing your homework.
Remember: It takes a village to raise a child. 
Have a good day!
Aki~

I agree. School life is said to be a small society.
>>> CORRECT!

I think it's natural to ask the student who has been harmed if the damage is due to the individual action.
>>> CORRECT!

It is impossible to punish from the beginning, so it is necessary to understand and persuade.
>>> CORRECT!

However, I think there should be a deserved punishment if you continue to do harm despite going through such a process.
>>> CORRECT!

This is because the other students who are with him will be directly or indirectly stressed mentally or physically.
>>> CORRECT!

I think we need to relearn the sense of community together.
>>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128822 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128821 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128820 My sleeping hours ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 455
128819 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 548
128818 Writing Task 0612 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1
128817 What do you think are the disadvantages and advantages of living... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 555
128816 What do you want to do on your summer vacation? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128815 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 473
128814 Do the police do a good job in your country? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 4
128813 Gentleman ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1
128812 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 2
128811 6/13 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 407
128810 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 455
128809 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 447
128808 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 292
128807 alarm ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 331
128806 Instagram feed! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 529
128805 Do you like celebrating your birthday? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 303
128804 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1135
128803 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 827

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04