¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-08-25 704

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree.
School life is said to be a small society.
I think it's natural to ask the student who has been harmed if the damage is due to the individual action.
It is impossible to punish from the beginning, so it is necessary to understand and persuade.
However, I think there should be a deserved punishment if you continue to do harm despite going through such a process.
This is because the other students who are with him will be directly or indirectly stressed mentally or physically.
I think we need to relearn the sense of community together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Eliana!
You constructed your sentences correctly.  Thank you for doing your homework.
Remember: It takes a village to raise a child. 
Have a good day!
Aki~

I agree. School life is said to be a small society.
>>> CORRECT!

I think it's natural to ask the student who has been harmed if the damage is due to the individual action.
>>> CORRECT!

It is impossible to punish from the beginning, so it is necessary to understand and persuade.
>>> CORRECT!

However, I think there should be a deserved punishment if you continue to do harm despite going through such a process.
>>> CORRECT!

This is because the other students who are with him will be directly or indirectly stressed mentally or physically.
>>> CORRECT!

I think we need to relearn the sense of community together.
>>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131472 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1694
131471 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1078
131470 Memorable day ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 898
131469 If you could change something in your past, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131468 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of an early bird? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131467 My favorite sports ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 950
131466 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 821
131465 homework 10.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 942
131464 What\'s your thought on vegetarians or vegeans? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131463 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2820
131462 when I eat out °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131461 \"She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both must... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1
131460 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 0
131459 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131458 Do you want to become famous? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 874
131457 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131456 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1180
131455 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 926
131454 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1544
131453 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1192

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04