¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2023-08-25 1882

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Mental health is more important than mental health. Even if you are physically healthy, you wouldn't get a healthy life if your mind is not healthy. For example, if the mind is not healthy, it can have various mental illnesses such as insomnia or anxiety disorders. On the other hand, if the mind is healthy, physical health can be created anytime. You can become overall healthy by exercising or doing various activities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Na Young!

Mental health is more important than mental health. 
>>>  Mental health is more important than physical health. 
Even if you are physically healthy, you wouldn't get a healthy life if your mind is not healthy. 
>>> correct  
For example, if the mind is not healthy, it can have various mental illnesses such as insomnia or anxiety disorders. 
>>>  correct 
>>> OR: For example, if the mind is not healthy, it can lead to various mental illnesses such as insomnia or anxiety disorders.   
On the other hand, if the mind is healthy, physical health can be created anytime. 
>>>   correct 
>>> OR: On the other hand, if the mind is healthy, physical health will follow. 
>>> OR: On the other hand, if the mind is healthy, physical health can be improved.   
You can become overall healthy by exercising or doing various activities.
>>>   correct 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129535 7.13.Thu Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2346
129534 7.12.Hump day Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1981
129533 What do you think of joining English camps? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129532 Physical ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129531 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1758
129530 WRITING TASK: What kind of preparation do you need for next year? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 3
129529 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1921
129528 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129527 What factors do people consider when choosing an apartment... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 4570
129526 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1
129525 Homework 7/14 JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2689
129524 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2107
129523 7.11.Tue Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2874
129522 Day3 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129521 7/14 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 19
129520 Homework È«*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2
129519 What do you think about eating disorders such as Anorexia and... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2475
129518 What quality do you admire most in people and which one do you... ¾È*½Ò ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2421
129517 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129516 homework 07.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2161

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04