¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the biggest change you\'d like to make to your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-24 1705

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have goals to achieve in my life, and I want to make big changes with these feats.
First, I want to speak English as fluently as native speakers do. I want to kick a day off with CNN or Arirang breaking news and go to my company which teaches English and develops materials that help students study English more easily and intuitively.

Second, I want to run my own business of English education and remodeling buildings. That's because I don't want to live under the protection of the company and retire at around 60 years old, ending up my life with guards of an apartment complex. Rather, I want to make use of my strength to do what I am good at - English, construction - and live my old life excitingly.

All I need to make big changes in my life is a spirit of challenge and an indomitable will to fulfill my goals until they are done. Now I am preparing them with prayers and incessant studying about English and construction. I'd have best obtain a certificate or an advanced license.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me through your assignment. It's clear that you have a strong sense of purpose and determination. I want to acknowledge your commitment and remind you that your efforts are truly commendable. Your goals and aspirations reflect your dedication to personal growth and positive change. It's wonderful to see your ambition to enhance your skills and make a meaningful impact. Remember, every step you take towards your goals, no matter how small, brings you closer to achieving them. Your mindset and drive are truly praiseworthy. Keep believing in yourself and your abilities, as they will undoubtedly guide you towards success. Stay focused, keep up the good work, and know that your efforts are making a difference.

~Teacher Cathy


I have goals to achieve in my life, and I want to make big changes with these feats.

>> I have goals to achieve in my life, and I want to make significant changes with these feats.
First, I want to speak English as fluently as native speakers do.

>>CORRECT

OR>> First, I want to speak English like native speakers.

I want to kick a day off with CNN or Arirang breaking news and go to my company which teaches English and develops materials that help students study English more easily and intuitively.
>> I want to start my day by watching CNN or Arirang breaking news and then head to my company, which teaches English and develops materials to assist students in studying English more easily and intuitively.
Second, I want to run my own business of English education and remodeling buildings.

>> Secondly, I want to run my own business in English education and building remodeling.

That's because I don't want to live under the protection of the company and retire at around 60 years old, ending up my life with guards of an apartment complex.

>> That's because I don't want to live under the company's protection, retire at around 60 years old, and conclude my life in the confines of an apartment complex guarded by security personnel.

OR>> It's like this because I don't want to depend on the company's care and retire at about 60 years old, spending my life protected by an apartment complex.

Rather, I want to make use of my strength to do what I am good at - English, construction - and live my old life excitingly.
>>CORRECT

OR>> Instead, I want to leverage my strengths in what I excel at - English and construction - and lead an exciting life in my later years.
All I need to make big changes in my life is a spirit of challenge and an indomitable will to fulfill my goals until they are done.

>>CORRECT

OR>> All I need to bring about significant changes in my life is a spirit of challenge and an indomitable will to achieve my goals until they are accomplished.

Now I am preparing them with prayers and incessant studying about English and construction. I'd have best obtain a certificate or an advanced license.

>> Now I am preparing for them with prayers and continuous studying in English and construction. It would be best to obtain a certificate or an advanced license.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130324 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3
130323 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 3089
130322 What kind of person do you want to avoid? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 1
130321 What are the pros and cons of living in an apartment? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 2778
130320 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 2522
130319 Who is the healthiest person you know? What do they do to stay... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 0
130318 The mistake of last relationship. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 1577
130317 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 1855
130316 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 1955
130315 Which among the mistakes you have made changed you greatly? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 2
130314 What makes it difficult to apply for a job? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 1523
130313 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 1786
130312 When you are stessed or tired, what do you do for relax? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 1462
130311 What are your thoughts on the role of war in shaping the course... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 2
130310 Day10 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 0
130309 Should schools should have dress code? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1724
130308 What are some measures that we can do to reduce our carbon... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2456
130307 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2282
130306 What is your own definition of school discipline and behavior... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 3
130305 homework 08.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1722

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04