¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the biggest change you\'d like to make to your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-24 2433

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have goals to achieve in my life, and I want to make big changes with these feats.
First, I want to speak English as fluently as native speakers do. I want to kick a day off with CNN or Arirang breaking news and go to my company which teaches English and develops materials that help students study English more easily and intuitively.

Second, I want to run my own business of English education and remodeling buildings. That's because I don't want to live under the protection of the company and retire at around 60 years old, ending up my life with guards of an apartment complex. Rather, I want to make use of my strength to do what I am good at - English, construction - and live my old life excitingly.

All I need to make big changes in my life is a spirit of challenge and an indomitable will to fulfill my goals until they are done. Now I am preparing them with prayers and incessant studying about English and construction. I'd have best obtain a certificate or an advanced license.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me through your assignment. It's clear that you have a strong sense of purpose and determination. I want to acknowledge your commitment and remind you that your efforts are truly commendable. Your goals and aspirations reflect your dedication to personal growth and positive change. It's wonderful to see your ambition to enhance your skills and make a meaningful impact. Remember, every step you take towards your goals, no matter how small, brings you closer to achieving them. Your mindset and drive are truly praiseworthy. Keep believing in yourself and your abilities, as they will undoubtedly guide you towards success. Stay focused, keep up the good work, and know that your efforts are making a difference.

~Teacher Cathy


I have goals to achieve in my life, and I want to make big changes with these feats.

>> I have goals to achieve in my life, and I want to make significant changes with these feats.
First, I want to speak English as fluently as native speakers do.

>>CORRECT

OR>> First, I want to speak English like native speakers.

I want to kick a day off with CNN or Arirang breaking news and go to my company which teaches English and develops materials that help students study English more easily and intuitively.
>> I want to start my day by watching CNN or Arirang breaking news and then head to my company, which teaches English and develops materials to assist students in studying English more easily and intuitively.
Second, I want to run my own business of English education and remodeling buildings.

>> Secondly, I want to run my own business in English education and building remodeling.

That's because I don't want to live under the protection of the company and retire at around 60 years old, ending up my life with guards of an apartment complex.

>> That's because I don't want to live under the company's protection, retire at around 60 years old, and conclude my life in the confines of an apartment complex guarded by security personnel.

OR>> It's like this because I don't want to depend on the company's care and retire at about 60 years old, spending my life protected by an apartment complex.

Rather, I want to make use of my strength to do what I am good at - English, construction - and live my old life excitingly.
>>CORRECT

OR>> Instead, I want to leverage my strengths in what I excel at - English and construction - and lead an exciting life in my later years.
All I need to make big changes in my life is a spirit of challenge and an indomitable will to fulfill my goals until they are done.

>>CORRECT

OR>> All I need to bring about significant changes in my life is a spirit of challenge and an indomitable will to achieve my goals until they are accomplished.

Now I am preparing them with prayers and incessant studying about English and construction. I'd have best obtain a certificate or an advanced license.

>> Now I am preparing for them with prayers and continuous studying in English and construction. It would be best to obtain a certificate or an advanced license.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139320 What do you like about your community? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1211
139319 What do you think is the right job for you when you grow up?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1102
139318 What did you do the day before yesterday and write about your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1648
139317 What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1336
139316 What do you think is the best way to go to school? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1729
139315 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139314 2024.08.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1130
139313 The positive side of peer pressure ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1556
139312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1324
139311 homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139310 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 980
139309 Do you sometimes compete with your friends? In what way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1515
139308 What are your usual food cravings? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139307 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1014
139306 befriend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139305 Do you think students in Korea are given enough credit for their... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 0
139304 What is the most important item do you have? Why? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 5
139303 What\'s your weakness? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 12
139302 why Air Arabia? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 10
139301 hobby ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 9

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04