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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-08-23 2079

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
Today almost has passed in a blink of an eye.
After morning class with you, I took my daughters, Irene and rachel to their school by my car.
Since there was a lot of rain this morning, it was difficult to drive.
After that, I looked around a gym in our appartment with my wife.
There were some kinds of workout machines, so I explained to my wife how to use them.
Early afternoon, I went to the bank to pay my tax.
Right after, I went to the music academy to attend my guitar class.
I met a guitar teacher for the first time because this was the first class ever.
He looked so young and had an enough experience to teach.
I was satisfied with my first lesson.
After I came home, I played a Nintendo game with my three daughters; I forgot to tell you about news of Nintendo.
We had a blast.
After dinner, I practiced to play the guitar with singing.
This made me feel good.
When I play the guitar with singing, I really feel freedom from all burdens like a debt, work, and all stress.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

I could not agree more with you. It was a long day for me yet, as I count the hours left to sleep, I feel that it may not be enough but then, that is what it is. I am so happy for you and your wife though. Sans work, you can replenish your relationship by working out and spending time with just the two of you. This is necessary in your marriage. Of course I am not sure of what I'm talking about but I am sure couples need to be together without the kids at some point.

You have accomplished so much in a day- driving, working out, paying your taxes, gaming, and playing the guitar and singing along- the icing on the cake. It is true that music can heal our souls. When we are weary a good music can soothe and inspire us. As you play the guitar and sing your heart out, it is like a momentary escape from all the cruelties of life especially the taxes and debts. Music is a consolation, if not the beauty in our lives imperfections.

Finally, I guess your daughters beat you in Nintendo. Kids are so smart in games lately.

You have been more cautious in creating your sentences than yesterday. I think that you have gotten the hang of writing once again. You always uphold a very high grammar quality in stating your thoughts. You did so well on this task. See you again on the next.

-T. Donna~ 

Hello.
>> Correct!

Today almost has passed in a blink of an eye.
>> Correct! Very good idiom!

After morning class with you, I took my daughters, Irene and rachel to their school by my car.
>> Correct!
Or: After morning class with you, I took my daughters, Irene and Rachel to their school by my car.

Since there was a lot of rain this morning, it was difficult to drive.
>> Correct!

After that, I looked around a gym in our appartment with my wife.
>> Correct!
Or: After that, I looked around a gym in our apartment with my wife.

There were some kinds of workout machines, so I explained to my wife how to use them.
>> Correct!

Early afternoon, I went to the bank to pay my tax.
>> Correct!

Right after, I went to the music academy to attend my guitar class.
>> Correct!

I met a guitar teacher for the first time because this was the first class ever.
>> Correct!

He looked so young and had an enough experience to teach.
>> Correct!

I was satisfied with my first lesson.
>> Correct!

After I came home, I played a Nintendo game with my three daughters; I forgot to tell you about news of Nintendo.
>>  After I came home, I played a Nintendo game with my three daughters; I forgot to tell you about the news of Nintendo.

We had a blast.
>> Correct!

After dinner, I practiced to play the guitar with singing.
>> Correct!
Or: After dinner, I practiced to play the guitar while singing.

This made me feel good.
>> Correct!

When I play the guitar with singing, I really feel freedom from all burdens like a debt, work, and all stress.
>> Correct!
Or: When I play the guitar while singing, I really feel freedom from all burdens like debts, work, and all kinds of stress.

See you.
>> Correct!
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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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